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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-06, 11:19

    There is great uncertainty among us, and all the great peoples of our land.

    Men of dark intent ravage the land, claiming to have slaughtered maidens in their thousands, eaten dead, burnt, bodies and griefed the very souls of the most honourable of men - among other abhorrent exploits.

    The great Orcworm himself has seemingly been claimed by an inscrutable madness, caught in a maelstrom of rage and self-loathing that results in the wanton destruction of many a mere mortal, while he inexplicably commits suicide as often as the sun sets.

    The core of our magick itself has been corrupted with the seed of malice, causing even simple charms to contort and burst into malevolent and deadly outbursts of unmoulded power. Floating clouds that have supported our land's great mages for eons twist and spasm with the agony bleeding from the land, leaving trails of inexplicable debris from the Otherworld. Who now can predict what will happen when we attempt to spirit ourselves home? Many a charmed compass has swung wildly in every direction and burst into flames in the hands of its user, screaming tears of blood and fury. A mage constructs a simple rune and the very chunks, the divine bastions of our nation, vanish from beneath their feet and cast them screaming into the belly of the earth.

    These are dark times.

    Who is to blame for this?

    My friends, I have happened upon a dark and frightening fraternity of Bards corrupted and turned by their insatiable greed and lust for unmitigated power. However, only partial is my knowledge of the extent that this plague has infected our once great land. I tell you now the identity of the one of the assailants.

    Baldymoint7

    Long has this demon plagued the northern reaches of Zmarkan, sending twisted tongues of flame scorching the earth from northern Thorold all the way to Turbansk, the jewel of the South. He rampages through the land and must be stopped at all costs! I myself have encountered him once in the small and foundling village of Cliffside of which I am a neighbour to. Is it coincidence that at the time of our conflict the village was engulfed in an uproar, with battles occurring in the streets and much confusion over the very rules of griefing that govern our fair people? I think not. This baldymoint7 is a cunning devil, and though i managed to pierce his cursed flesh twice with arrows and wound him deeply with my diamond blade, he lives on.

    I beseech you now, my fair people. My beautiful and lovely compatriots. Hunt down this demon! Cast him into the fires of the Nether where he should remain eternally. But do not only this, for he is but a fragment of the blight on our souls. We must uncover the identities of his brothers in arms and defeat them before every fibre of our being is fraught with irrevocable evil! I beg of you my friends, there are traitors among us.

    This is a time of great unrest. I, in my humble opinion, proclaim that those of malignant intent should reveal themselves with honour and grace, and those warriors of the light stand by the side of Orcworm and aid him in his time of insanity. We must obliterate these cankerous devils!

    For longer than any of us remember, the glimmering plains of this realm have mystified and enchanted. Now they lay under threat. Dark are the forests of Acheron - no longer a safe haven in the heart of the Weywood but infested with the minions of the dark. Dangerous are the outskirts of New Orcshire - there is more at work here than the mere greed of petty bandits! The darkness in our souls - and it exists in all of us - has been whipped up into a dangerous fury by the powers of the dark and we must do all we can to resist it.

    A time of great unrest is among us. Find these traitors - these minions of the dark - and through them their dark lord. That is our great quest. If none will aid me I will go alone. I will obliterate the evil in this realm, even if it sucks the very air from my lungs - the very light from my eyes.

    May the light illuminate our path to a new, golden age for this fair land.

    Yours Sincerely,

    The Hatter of Lirigon


    Last edited by thebadhatter on 2011-06-06, 21:21; edited 2 times in total
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    Post by Jarvisd 2011-06-06, 11:22

    God help us,

    God help you with your 'theory'.
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-06, 11:33

    I... I'm not very sure whether I should move this Complaints or to Stories. Tell us, oh spinner of a thousand tales, what has this avatar of pure malevolence brought unto our fair server to warrant such a bard as thee? Which foulest of lies does he spout? Which chests... which castles... which fair maidenhoods has fallen to this sick defiant? Give us reason to unless the might of our brave and ever fair JUST1C3-knights on this demon and it shall be done! Let thy lips tell the tale of Baldymoint7.
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    Post by Veritascapto 2011-06-06, 11:35

    If the evil Baldymoint7 is reading thy post then let him know that I intend to track down his soul through the far lands and until of end time! Long Live Orc!
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    Post by Guest 2011-06-06, 11:36

    What?
    tl;dr, bro.
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    Post by Gnomeygnome 2011-06-06, 11:42

    I thot was the true evil!
    THIS IS BS!!!
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-06, 11:45

    You are the sworn enemy of Grammar Nazi's and the raper of a thousand dictionaries. Hardly true, pure evil and more like that incredibly annoying group of n... African-Americans who play way too loud "music" in the back of the bus.
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    Post by E Karney 2011-06-06, 11:57

    I will join thine quest though not for reasons similar to thine own.


    Last edited by E Karney on 2011-06-06, 12:22; edited 1 time in total
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    Post by Pete 2011-06-06, 12:04

    Thy or thine, not thee.
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-06, 12:19

    I like thee. Especially with a bit of milk and two sugar.
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    Post by Pete 2011-06-06, 12:28

    I love thee with cowboy boots and... Nope, that's it.
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    Post by Guest 2011-06-06, 12:51

    FillerB wrote:You are the sworn enemy of Grammar Nazi's and the raper of a thousand dictionaries. Hardly true, pure evil and more like that incredibly annoying group of n... African-Americans who play way too loud "music" in the back of the bus.
    I hope you`re not refferering to me.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-06, 23:03

    Aye, I encountered the scoundrel on an evening darker than most - perhaps unnaturally so. He was clad entirely in black, with gleaming red eyes, if they could be called such things. He looked at me contemptuously from a sort of crimson cross, cruelly slashed over his ungodly face.

    He had with him a charmed compass and this suggests to me he is a Bard of no insignificant power. Nevertheless, the man is a coward! He flitted about me, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, taunting my blade which bayed for his blood as he appeared within arm's reach only to vanish faster than my sword could fly. I had loosed over fifty arrows at him before I turned to my sword, effectively combating his wily ways though such a weak weapon was unlikely to kill him at such a distance. I scored several strikes nevertheless before drawing my blade, seeking to taunt him to such an extent that he would reveal a weakness. And successful was my ploy. Such was his arrogance that he stood level with me on many occasions, and his death was close at hand at one point. He had lost sight of me and I managed to thrust Arnost deeply into the flesh around his spine while he fruitlessly scanned the town and went for a second, final strike but he evaded me.

    Such was my initial conflict against him. I think there will be many more before he is slain.

    And FillerB, I ask thee not to relegate this urgent matter, for such a thing would merely stymie the attention bestowed upon my story. What is more general than the fate of the world itself? To move it thus can only result in misfortune.
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-06, 23:26

    (Right sorry mate, but as nicely told as this complaint is, it's still a complaint and those go in Complaints)

    Let me first address PetePorty. Oh collector of a thousand female friends and males foes, I fear that thy have fallen for a simple cross-language joke. For thy must know that "thee" is the Dutch word for that most British of liquids, that most invigorating of early-morning drinks. Indeed "Thee" is nothing more than a good old cup of tea. But I am dismayed to tell you... Jammie Dodgers are usually not included.

    And as for our bard. Has this miscreant actually attacked you or has he only jumped around with his tail between his legs like an old, wornout, bitch.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-06, 23:37

    I am not complaining, sir, for I take great glory and exhilaration from battle. I seek only to bring a higher degree of mystery and adventure to this fair world. Do not think that I seek help out of necessity, fear or cowardice - I merely invite you all to share in my glorious campaign against the hordes of darkness.
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 00:03

    Funny. It reads a hell of a lot like a complaint against Compass-abuse.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 00:33

    Oh, then I am sorry for writing in such a fashion that it's misreading is likely. I was merely recounting the tale of my clash against such a heathen. It matters not how he evades my sword - it will reach him in the end. I did not mean this as a complaint, but a call to arms, for my brethren to rise up and -


    Aw fuck it. Nobody has any goddamn imagination. I'll go fight evil on my own.

    But this isn't a complaint.
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    Post by Grintendo 2011-06-07, 02:11

    thebadhatter wrote:But this isn't a complaint.

    It's in the complain section :3 Razz
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 02:15

    Read the topic Grin.
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    Post by xbot668 2011-06-07, 04:38

    Could someone translate this? It sounds a lot like someones pillaging pirates, and rescuing princesses from themselves....
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 04:40

    It's your native language xbot.... If you can't read this I advice you to read more books.
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    Post by xbot668 2011-06-07, 04:45

    I read plenty of books. But that doesn't stop the fact that I can't get what he's saying. Que sera sera I guess. I'll have another go at the foul beast?

    Edit: Sooo, he's complaining about warp lag, and possibly compass abuse?
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    Post by epvprul3s 2011-06-07, 05:33

    xbot668 wrote:Edit: Sooo, he's complaining about warp lag, and possibly compass abuse?

    Errr... yea... exactly scratch
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 05:36

    Not exactly. Although he asks people to organize a crusade against a Baldymoint because he TPed around him during a fight. But _apparently_ Baldy didn't actually attack him. So although he wants Baldy to be punished for this "offence", he isn't complaining (according to him). Yeah it doesn't really make sense. But the topic also wasn't in his place at General so here we are.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 08:07

    I'm not complaining. I'm merely stating that baldymoint7's soul is obviously full of unstoppable darkness and should subsequently be battled against in a marvelous and epic war. I involved the various perils facing the server at the current time to contextualize this work of FICTION.

    It's this thing called having fun, maybe you've heard of it? You might find some hidden in the back of your minds if you stop being staff for a while and be human

    HUMAN!
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    Post by Baldymoint7 2011-06-07, 08:09

    ....Fuck this shit....I tp away from him because he was going to hit me with his diamond sword and he goes all medieval on my ass. All I have to say is this kid's on some pills. Please STFU and stop trollin.
    I'm out.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 08:15

    I'm not angry that you tp'd away.. if anything it made the encounter more interesting. I just thought I would dramatise a mere PvP conflict in order to make it into something not everyday and so something more entertaining, and then turn it into something serverwide. I guess nobody around here is capable of anything but petty squabbling. Just because you're in a game, doesn't mean you can't produce your own games inside games. Gameception.

    Have some imagination people!
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    Post by Orcworm 2011-06-07, 08:18

    Hatter, I think you've really hit the wrong crowd with this thread. Look at Baldy, he thinks you're being serious and even 'trolling' him.
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    Post by Guest 2011-06-07, 08:24

    *facepalm*
    You.... you.... you aren`t angry?
    THAN WHY DID YOU EVEN START THIS!?!?!
    I have imagination
    Spoiler:
    but we`re talking about Minecraft here, its the game that breaks with every update, no questions asked, and please stop talking like your from the 1500`s.
    Thank you, and goodday
    [/endrant]
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 08:30

    The Music Man, does every action in life have to be in aggression?

    Can I not write merely for the joy of writing?

    Because I do just that.

    I sense no love in you

    <3
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 08:31

    Oh lay off TMM. The posts are funny as hell to read even they aren't a "true" complaint. Hell of a lot better than 95% off the shit that is usually posted.
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 08:41

    Why do you keep viewing my posts as aggressive and/or serious?

    I am baffled.

    Truly bewildered.
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 08:59

    It was aimed at The_Music_Man if it wasn't obvious =)
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    Post by thebadhatter 2011-06-07, 09:01

    Ohhh. I read

    "Lay off the music man"

    where you meant

    "Lay off [thebadhatter], the music man"

    right? My apologies
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    Post by Pete 2011-06-07, 09:07

    He missed a comma; sue him. Also, I agree with Filly-Poo, this guy's awesome.
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    Post by E Karney 2011-06-07, 09:28

    I'm considering him my new best friend Laughing
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    Post by FillerB 2011-06-07, 09:34

    PetePorty wrote:He missed a comma; sue him. Also, I agree with Filly-Poo, this guy's awesome.

    Oh I fully understand the confusion such that single comma changes the entire meaning of the post.

    But yeah Hatter... you rock! (woohoo)
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    Post by xbot668 2011-06-07, 09:53

    Three cheers for hatter Hip hip Hooray(2 other posters please)
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    Post by Baldymoint7 2011-06-07, 10:03

    Hip hip Hooray. I actually thought you were trying to piss me off, I'm sorry hatter Sad please forgive me. I've just gotten worked up the past couple days when people try to mess around with me. Tho thats no excuse for my reaction, please I'm so sorry. P.S: FILLER hates me Very Happy. Oh wait... *ban*

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