The Why's of Men (and some for the ladies)

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE
ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions)
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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)
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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT
DOWN?(don't know.....it never happened)
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(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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And the personal favourite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One for the ladies.........

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry
Room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied.
'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ...'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed.
The man says, 'I am going to make you the
Happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he
Stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the
Neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent,
Good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death...
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in
Your bed gasping for breath and calling
Your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from
Reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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That was stupid. I think youre lying about your gender now.

I was hoping for a lot of sexist jokes in the male genders favor... The women (for once) came out on top on this thread .

uberblake wrote:That was stupid. I think youre lying about your gender now.

NUH UH.

Ablunca has a delicious manvoice.

Albuca wrote:6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

*cough*Lilith*cough*

I see that you've gotten yourself a "girl"friend and are trying to get on "her" good side, Albuca.

He doesn't deserve to have his gentlemen's.

albuca, you still havent made me laugh...
and you managed to create 2 topics with just about the same idea

Hey now, these are all emails that got passed around at work.
I never made up any of them, just copy/pasted them here ^^

And I'll find something that makes you laugh Ciphon... mark my words lol

Albuca wrote:Hey now, these are all emails that got passed around at work.
I never made up any of them, just copy/pasted them here ^^

And I'll find something that makes you laugh Ciphon... mark my words lol

Oh no!!!! Pretend to laugh so the off topic section isn't spammed with lame copy/pasted emails!

It's off-topic for a reason. Some of us enjoyed it Q.Q

Grintendo wrote:It's off-topic for a reason. Some of us enjoyed it Q.Q

And most of us didn't care enough to respond. It's not even good enough for 10 different peoples' responses. Now Ciphon has to pretend to laugh.

uberblake wrote:

Grintendo wrote:It's off-topic for a reason. Some of us enjoyed it Q.Q

And most of us didn't care enough to respond. It's not even good enough for 10 different peoples' responses. Now Ciphon has to pretend to laugh.

What's stuck up your ass? If anyone wants to make a thread in off topic about what they find funny, they can. If you don't like it, don't read it.

I hate using this word, but... Derp.

Grintendo wrote:

uberblake wrote:

Grintendo wrote:It's off-topic for a reason. Some of us enjoyed it Q.Q

And most of us didn't care enough to respond. It's not even good enough for 10 different peoples' responses. Now Ciphon has to pretend to laugh.

What's stuck up your ass? If anyone wants to make a thread in off topic about what they find funny, they can. If you don't like it, don't read it.

I hate using this word, but... Derp.

But i mean... he made 5 threads and none of them were funny

Anyone else got a loud voice on their head shouting "TRANNY" when reading this? Well, I did, and I've hear his sexy man voice.

Some people find it funny. It wasn't spam, so if you don't like it, instead of making a hostile environment on the thread, why don't you ignore it? It's not as if it's going to hurt you having to press the back button after thinking to yourself "i don't find this funny".

I just don't understand why he had to divide a bunch of jokes into 5 different topics. Never mind that it isn't funny, but I don't see how this isn't spam

The jokes were of different nature, sieve. Therefore, they can be in seperate topics.

But reiterating yourselves back and forth over and over IS spam...

...so stop it, both of you. 'afore I smack ya!

If you dont like them, makes no difference to me.

But hey Sieve, you dont see me complaining about your "Freddy Krueger Mortal Kombat 9 dlc" or "Spiderman Thread" threads.
Or even your "Amazing!!!!" thread, with videos that didnt seem all that amazing to me.
Just saying.

Also, there not all jokes, the Radioactive Boy Scout is just interesting, its not meant to be funny.

I didn't divide the Freddy Kruegar trailer into 5 parts and post each part in different threads. Just saying.

And im pretty sure that "Actual questions asked about Canada before the 2010 Winter Olympics" and "The Why's of Men (and some for the ladies)" are different from each other.

Now please leave my threads alone. You dont like them, and I dont care. Problem solved, lets move on.

Rulyon wrote:The jokes were of different nature, sieve. Therefore, they can be in seperate topics.

But reiterating yourselves back and forth over and over IS spam...

...so stop it, both of you. 'afore I smack ya!

Grintendo stopped...